In the Flow with Healing Waters

I have a pattern of going too fast. I am my own version of the little blue hedgehog, Sonic. My pattern is “eyes forward and go!” The more difficult the task or obstacles, the faster I move. This sounds ok in theory, I am extremely productive in this pattern and sleep well most nights. However, I have been coming to realize it is an avoidance tool. Since the passing of Denise, there has been smoke coming from my heels because I have been so busy. The hard truth is when I slow down, I have to be present with all the tough emotions that remain. I can’t outrun them although I sure try. Slowing down becomes the harder thing. Sitting in grief, fear, insecurities, anger,  and being present with them all is a big task. Perhaps you use tasks or being busy as an avoidance tool? We avoid acknowledging a break in our marriage, our parents health issues, our friends that we don’t see because we are too busy. We avoid all sorts of situations by being busy. Most of all though, we avoid being present, which is where we want to be to let go of the feelings and be our best. I have been consciously choosing to slow down some. When I feel the need to be busy, I find a task that is peaceful and fulfilling to me. I chose to work outside this week. The sunshine and earth were healing to me. ALLOWING myself to feel what was necessary and let it go.  Life is the obstacles, it’s how we respond that makes our experience. 

“Crazy-busy” is a great armor, it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we are feeling and what we really need, can’t catch up with us.” -Brene Brown

Slower in the flow,

Lisa