In the Flow with Healing Waters

For years, I was protecting myself from the effects of something I might say or do. I was guarded, closed off and fearful of being rejected. It wasn’t until I started a journey of discovery that I understood why I was always in protective mode. Vulnerability is often viewed as being weak, when in reality it builds trust and honesty with others, fosters empathy and builds stronger bonds. With so many positive outcomes of being vulnerable, why do we choose differently? 

Fear is the culprit. Fear of rejection, being laughed at or criticized. For years, I thought it was easier to not be vulnerable in my relationships because I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to fit in. I was fearful of a loved one leaving me. I didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing to avoid confrontation. I was trying to control every situation by telling others what I thought they wanted to hear, avoiding my own opinion and not being authentic. UGH! Do you know how much work it is trying to keep everyone around me happy?! It took years to figure out that this system wasn’t working for me. So, I needed to make changes.

My journey started with taking a look at myself, but I needed support in this. So, I enrolled in a leadership program that one of my sisters recommended to me. It was where I gained clarity on how I was showing up to others but I knew there were more layers to peel away. I then started having AcuEnergetics® sessions at Healing Waters. I gained awareness on the mind body connection and how our emotions affect our physical being. These sessions assisted me in staying healthy during a very stressful and emotional time. 

During all of this self seeking, one of my very close friends kept talking about the therapist that she was seeing. She kept encouraging me to see her because she had such great results. I resisted that idea for a very long time and then I had a situation arise with my kids and I knew that I needed more discovery about myself. I made a phone call to my friend and she gave me her therapist’s information. I made an appointment and went on a regular basis for a few months. She helped me to connect the dots of my life to give me a clear image of why I chose the behaviors that I did. Speaking up came with some kick backs from those that weren’t  used to me having a voice, but I was confident in knowing that I had to start speaking my truths. The flat spot on my emotional wheel was beginning to fill in to create a full circle and I loved how I was feeling. 

The frosting on the cake of well being came a few months ago with The Perfect Triangle™ program that Denise and Susan developed. It was one more piece of my puzzle that guided me to where I currently am. Learning these life tools, understanding that we always have to look at self to evaluate how we are in situations has been crucial in my journey. 

Being vulnerable, it’s that feeling you get when you’re about to tell someone I love you for the first time. You don’t know if they’ll say it back, pretend they didn’t hear you or laugh, but it doesn’t matter because you are speaking your truth. You love that person. You’re being authentic, open and vulnerable. How they react to what you say is theirs and how you react to what someone says to you is yours.   

Today, I am better. It’s a daily process of discovery, awareness, and practicing vulnerability, and it’s true; being vulnerable builds trust and honesty with others, fosters empathy and builds stronger bonds. Understanding that my fear of being vulnerable was fake this entire time and that I get to toss that fear away and practice being fearless in my vulnerability. These are the things that helped me get to where I am today. It is freeing when you are vulnerable. I encourage you to step into the vulnerability arena. Be fearless in it. Notice how you are, notice how you feel and notice others’ reactions when you are vulnerable. Notice the feeling of courage vs weakness when you are vulnerable.  

Be vulnerable in the flow,

Deb