In the Flow with Healing Waters

Shame. It’s a word that we don’t talk about very much, but it is important to identify it, understand what it feels like to you, and how it affects you. There are many emotions that are attached to shame, so oftentimes when we are feeling angry or anxious during a particular situation, it could be shame that is the root of what we are feeling. 

It makes a person feel inadequate, self conscious, embarrassed and promotes negative self-talk. But, if we can catch ourselves in the moment when we are feeling shameful, we can change the outcome of how we feel, address it, become vulnerable and communicate it to ourselves or others, which in turn will diffuse the shame allowing you to move through it faster.  

When I googled the definition of shame, this is what I found. 

We feel shame when we violate the social norms we believe in. At such moments we feel humiliated, exposed and small and are unable to look another person straight in the eye. We want to sink into the ground and disappear. Shame makes us direct our focus inward and view our entire self in a negative light. 

Shame is a negative word where just admitting that you are ashamed feels like it adds additional shame. It’s as if one emotion stacks on top of the other. It can be a vicious circle and may feel like you can’t escape it. But, there is a way to address it and move forward. Here is an example of feeling shame.

Brenda had made some choices in her life that went against the social norms causing her to be self-critical, embarrassed and anxious when she ran into certain people. She felt like people were talking about her and judging her past behavior and although she knew that it wasn’t anyone else’s business, she still felt shameful. 

Brenda started experiencing aches and pains that hadn’t been there before. When she came in contact with certain people whom she felt judged by, she could feel herself feeling less than, embarrassed, and anxious. She knew that she didn’t like how she was feeling and knew she had to take her power back and needed help by doing that. 

She sought professional support through AcuEnergetics® to get the energy flow moving, and a therapist. Between the 2 modalities, she learned about shame, and how holding onto it can be detrimental to her health.

Initially, she didn’t always recognize the correlation of shame and the emotion she was feeling, but eventually, she was able to and started to feel less aches and pains in her body and feel less shame for her past behavior. She made amends for her past and made the decision to release the shame. She recognized that these feelings of shame belonged to her and it really had nothing to do with anyone else. Shame was no longer running the show in her life. 

Brenda isn’t minimizing her behavior or acting like it wasn’t a big deal. She has had an awareness that she doesn’t want to make herself ill with shame anymore and she understands that she can’t change the past, but she knows that she can have control of her emotions in the future. She’s breaking the old pattern and starting a new one. The roots of shame usually run deep. It can have a hold on you and cause emotional and physical pain. 

The next time you are feeling humiliated, exposed, small, you are unable to look another person straight in the eye, you want to sink into the ground or disappear, ask yourself why you are feeling like that. Is shame attached to your emotion? Can you look within and recognize in the moment if and why you are feeling ashamed? Can you verbalize it to yourself or others? It could be the steps to set yourself free.  

Unashamed in the flow,

Deb