In the Flow with Healing Waters
Selfish versus Self-Kind
Have you ever felt selfish/ like when you eat (sneak) that last cookie, and you know someone else could have enjoyed it? Or when you took the night off when you SHOULD have done work? But you simply were doing something that made you happy, felt good, or maybe you were doing something that you didn’t want to share with anyone else. Often people don’t even say out loud you are being selfish, but you can feel the vibe of it, RIGHT? You may feel you are taking time away from cleaning the house, laundry, finishing projects, working, completing all the “have to’s or shoulds”. You may even feel guilty when taking time for yourself. It might be that you convince yourself you don’t need or have any time for that self nurturing thing.
Let’s take a closer look at “self-ish”. When we break it down we are saying “ish” to ourselves.
The definition of selfish is lacking consideration for others. This is so interesting because typically not taking time for “ME” is because we are always considering others’s needs.
We often have been conditioned and programmed to sacrifice ourselves at all cost and put others’ needs before our own. Yes, certainly consider someone else’s needs as you live life, however first we must take care of self in order to even consider someone else’s needs. Why do you think that when flying they tell us to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting someone else?
“Self care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.”–Katie Reed
Have you ever thought of it this way? When my bucket is full and I am fulfilled and happy, I am better, I show up happier, fulfilled in every situation. When the best part of me presents first, it changes the way I feel, which changes the way others feel and changes the whole situation. Just think about a time when you showed up with self kind and how that felt.
What if we considered this…. we replace self-ish with self-kind? Indeed it would change the way we looked at self-care and personal needs.
So take a look at how you are taking care of yourself today. Is it getting your haircut? Spending a day with a loved one? Taking a walk, a bath, a bike ride, cuddling with a pet, reading a book or meditating? How are YOU filling up YOUR self-kind today?
-Be in the Flow
Written by Susan Schultz and Denise Gunderson, co-owners of Healing Waters Health Center in Stillwater, MN