In the Flow with Healing Waters
Put down your guard and sword
Put down your shield and sword
The other day, I had a few phrases come to me…put down the shield…put down the sword.
I sat with that and right away I knew what it meant. I felt hurt. When I feel hurt, I can feel this shield come up and sit right in front of my heart. It happens fast. This shield is strong and it happens subconsciously.
I sometimes even get a physical response by crossing my arms in front of me. It is the weirdest thing, especially when you become conscious of it. Even in the moment of “oh, I have my arm shield up” it’s hard to put it down.
As a teacher and practitioner of energy, I totally understand this logically from my head and from the feeling sense of my body….and this still happens.
It has shown up lately because I have felt attacked by words from others. Like any war movie you see, when attacked, you protect and/or fight back. When this happens in normal life, it leads me to pick up my shield to protect and defend, and my sword to attack the other person.
In the past, these have been responses when feeling attacked:
-I wait until the other person stops attacking me and try to ignore how I feel
-I choose to run and get away from them
-I push down my feelings and stop talking to them altogether, but internally get frustrated and angry and stew about it
-Attack and try to prove they are wrong and I am right
I am not proud of these, but it has been a pattern for me on and off in my life…until now. I am putting down my shield and putting down my sword.
Maybe you can relate to some of these patterns. I believe humans all do these to a degree.
“What is believed to be true… is that the shield and sword are keeping you safe. However, it is actually doing the opposite.
When shields are up, it is keeping you from loving others fully and
being loved by others.”
Putting my shield up, is what I am fighting with inside myself. I am actually having the problem…not anyone else. Of course others can be mean, judgeful, opinionated, or gossip…but if I truly am open with how I feel and allow the feeling, I am healing and eventually will feel less hurt or just let it go when someone says something unkind.
Other emotions eliciting “the shields and swords up” is feeling worried, or feeling unjustified, or unsafe/fearful.
When this happens, start noticing exactly what you are feeling. Start saying it out loud. Identify it and take space for it.
Now that I am conscious of this, I am responding differently. I am choosing to do my heart work. I have started saying these phrases out loud to myself…”my heart hurts” or “I feel so sad”, “I feel judged” “I feel scared”. I am letting the feelings out.
Why does it feel so much easier to blame someone else for how you feel? Because you don’t have to look at those emotions in yourself. But as you start looking inside, into your heart, it is a journey you will never regret. If I am open to looking at myself, open to loving myself, it is not scary, it is not hurtful, it is not frustrating. It is empowering and healthy and it helps me grow past the patterns of my past.
Heart work can be done many ways by simply opening your heart to joy. Playing with a child, looking at the beauty of nature, sitting and smiling, or connecting with a loved one or friend. There are a ton of ways to do your heart work.
When you do your heart work, other emotions can come up besides joy.
Big emotions can show up making you cry, overwhelming you, angering you. This is just the process. The reason is that emotions we feel, like feeling hurt or judged, can slowly close the heart. When you start opening up your heart, guess what? Those feelings show up. It’s actually a good thing when these feelings show up because you are starting to peel back the onion or take down your shield.
Everyone does this. You can’t be human without having some sadness/hurt/judgment show up in your life. Just notice it. Don’t judge it, don’t wallow in it.
I just let whatever comes up come out and let it go through. It never stays for a long time now that I don’t push it back down. I often will sit and feel and cry.
When your heart is open, it feels better, freer, happier. Because we are all connected through energy, your heart energy ripples out to people around you and they can feel it too which will allow them to feel their heart more, but true healing starts with you.
So put your shield and sword down for a bit and see what happens.
Letting your guard down in the flow,