In the Flow with Healing Waters
Patterns, we all have them. I am not referring to patterns on your clothes, I am referring to the patterns of life that come up over and over and over again, driving us crazy….or do they have to?
Examples of Patterns:
- Your mother or mother in law does something that drives you crazy
- Your spouse getting you frustrated
- Getting angry when you see dumb drivers
- Your kids not listening and disrespecting you, and you feel hurt
- Your friend saying something that sparked some anger
- Your dad treating you like a child and telling you what to do, making you feel inferior
- Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things you need to do
- Not trusting yourself to make decisions
You get the picture here, there are endless amounts of patterns we all have, AND every single solitary person has patterns. If you are human, you have patterns.
If you were to really look at what these are, they are reactions. Reactions to people and situations that cause you to feel SOMETHING.
When we have something show up, we typically don’t want to look at it. WHY? Because it isn’t fun to look at something about ourselves that we are not proud of. Feeling hurt, angry, feeling inferior, not trusting are not fun emotions to feel.
Patterns happen and if you start to recognize what they are, you will move through them easier.
I had a pattern show up the other day. I felt overwhelmed as I left my house looking at how dirty and messy it was (we are getting our house ready to go on the market). I tried to let go of the overwhelming feeling as I drove to work and thought I was present and feeling better. But as I sat in my first meeting with Denise, she was wanting to discuss projects that needed to be done in the next few months. Well…my pattern reared its ugly head. I became pretty overwhelmed. I was pulled out of present time and into my head. I struggled to see where I was going to come up with more time to finish the projects at work while finishing a bunch of things at home. Overwhelm has been a life-long pattern for me. I used to get stopped in my tracks and freeze with this. However I now try to embrace this pattern. I don’t freeze anymore, but still react at times.
That’s the thing with patterns. If you become more aware of your patterns, you get to react differently and in the way you choose. This then will help you move THROUGH your pattern.
As I sat with myself that day, wishing I had reacted differently, I had a conversation with Denise and said I was sorry. We decided that the word sorry means someone was wrong. I didn’t mean to act this way, it was just a reaction. We decided at that point we wouldn’t apologize for our patterns, we would just say, “I am aware of this, I am looking at it, and will react differently next time”. Putting attention forward towards next time feels a whole lot better than staying upset about what happened in the past. Being aware of the patterns and taking a step to move through it also feels a whole lot better.
I took that weekend, finished a few projects at home and started looking at the project at work. Taking a step forward makes all the difference when we feel those patterns creep in.
This is just an example of how to work through your patterns.
What are the patterns that keep showing up for you? Have a conversation with someone about your patterns. When you are open with your patterns, the people who are in your relationships will open up with theirs as well.
Don’t let patterns own you, own your patterns.
-Be in the flow
Written by Susan Schultz