In the Flow with Healing Waters

Last summer when my daughter announced she was pregnant, I wasn’t sure how I felt about becoming a grandma. I’ve listened to other grandmas gloat about the joys of being a grandma and say things like, ”It’s the best” or, ”It’s better than being a parent,” or “You’ll love that baby more than anything.”  Even during her pregnancy, my daughter said,  “You don’t seem as excited as I thought you would be.”  Maybe it was because they just married the year before so I figured they’d wait a few years to get started on a family. I figured I’d have years to yearn for a baby.  I told my daughter,  “It just doesn’t seem real yet.”  

She asked me to be a labor coach along with her husband. I felt really honored she wanted me there. Since it’s been almost 25 years since I had a baby, I read up on labor and how to be a good coach, watched some youtube videos, and got good advice from a  friend who is an OB nurse. I didn’t want to feel ill prepared. The two things I was anxious about were how I would handle watching my baby girl in pain and I’m not great around blood. I didn’t want to pass out,  hence watching the youtube birth videos to toughen me up a bit!

Well, the big day came (or I should say the all nighter.) It was a long grueling night of labor which ended with an emergency C-section (I won’t go into any more gory details than that.) At one point my daughter asked, “Does it seem real now, Mom?” Yup, very real!  They welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world. That night will be something I won’t forget. I’m so glad I could be there to offer encouragement and support. I’m blessed to have a great relationship with my daughter and her husband, and this felt like an even deeper level had been reached.  

It’s been two months since all that happened and at about week two it really began to settle in (I know I’m slow) as I thought wow I really love this little boy!  Another cool thing to watch is my daughter becoming a mother herself and what a good job she’s doing even through the sleepless nights, nursing challenges, and all the baby things. Our hearts are full of love for this beautiful baby.

Becoming a grandma has made me think of my own grandmothers. One of them died shortly after I was born, but I’ve heard many stories over the years of her and her kind heart and what an amazing cook she was, all on a wood stove and unable to read a recipe. My other grandma lived in another state so we connected occasionally. In those days it was a long distance phone call, so you didn’t chat long. I realized I really didn’t experience a close relationship with a grandparent as a child.  

It got me thinking how I want to be as a grandma.  Much like other relationships, how do I want to show up?  Over the years I’ve heard many people comment that they had regrets raising their children so grandchildren were their second chance.  I think all parents have some regrets, after all we’re human and make mistakes.  I know I won’t be the perfect grandma but I’ll do the best I can.  Lucky for me. I have several friends who are grandmas already, so I have some great role models. 

Of course I decided to Google the role of a grandparent. I like this one..

Grandparents provide a safe harbor for their grandkids, helping them feel loved and secure, which can be especially beneficial in times of difficulty or stress. Your total acceptance and loving support will be gifts your grandchildren will cherish always.

Grandma in the flow,

Teresa