In the Flow with Healing Waters
Being present or procrastinating
I have to admit, I am a recovering over-planning, people pleaser. It took me years to realize this was a coping mechanism for anxiety. I would plan everything days, weeks, and months in advance. It felt like if I was organized enough and knew what to expect, I could somehow control the situation and make myself more comfortable. Obviously, this illusion sort of worked until something didn’t go according to my plan. My stomach would tie in knots and I would feel like running away. When I began practicing Acu-energetics, I became aware of this pattern within myself. I worked to overcome it through meditation and trying to be present. However, as I focused on staying present and not over-planning, I found myself procrastinating to do things till the last minute as a way to escape having to deal with my feelings about them. I hid behind “being present” as an excuse to avoid doing tasks that seemed daunting or unpleasant. These blogs are a perfect example, I find them difficult at times, so I literally push the task off until an ever-patient Deb reminds me it is due NOW.
So, the question is, where is the balance? How do we stay present and enjoy moments in our life without too much forward-thinking, yet do enough to stay on top of tasks in our life? It is something I am still learning and practicing, but here are a few ideas that have worked for me.
- I do not look at my schedule for the week until Sunday night. I used to start looking ahead on Saturday. When I did this, dread would start for certain tasks and I would waste a perfectly good Sunday worrying about them.
- Eliminate tasks that you can if you do not enjoy them. I understand we have to do things we don’t like sometimes, but we don’t have to do them all. If you don’t enjoy cleaning floors, for instance, see if you can hire someone to do that task for you.
- Meditate. Meditation helps us stay in the present. It slows our heart rate and soothes our nerves. It is a vital part of my routine.
- Look at why you find the task unpleasant. Is there an emotional component that you continue to avoid? As I explained above, I don’t fancy myself a writer and get nervous about these blogs. I have an emotional component of vulnerability and concern for not being good at it. When I am able to identify that, I can keep retraining my brain to have a different perspective with positive affirmations. “ I can do this.” “ I am a good writer!”
Above all, I keep trying. Giving myself grace on the bad days and celebrating the good days. Hugging my children and animals and being present as much as possible. I stay open and curious about my responses to situations and identify my patterns.
Made it through another blog in the flow,